The Christmas rush is over. We were blessed to have been able to be home with our families. But my heart and thoughts were in China. There are so many emotions that we are going thru-mainly fear of the unknown. But just as when we started this process 17 months ago, we believe that everything is in God's hands and His timing.

For a long time now I have wished for a dream of Natalie-something to comfort me, and the Lord blessed me with a dream Christmas Eve night. For many weeks now I have not been able to remember my dreams (which is very unusual for me), but this dream is clear as day-even now. My BIGGEST fear is for my poor child. Even as we welcome her into our arms on January 10, I know that it will be the scariest and worst time for her. Her nanny will put her into my arms-but she will not know me or Brad. We will look strange, talk in a strange language, and then whisk her away from everything she has ever known in her small comfortable world. Just thinking about it breaks my heart! I have pondered over and over again on how I will react to her on that day. I have prayed for God to help me discern just how to handle that moment, as to not traumatize her. My dream was His answer. I dreamt of me sitting down in front of Natalie and showing her the toys we will be bringing, and playing with her. As the dream progresses, she looks up at me and stretches her arms out toward me, allowing me to pick her up. Then I woke up. In those few moments after waking I felt at peace. Acceptance: isn't that what we all want and crave from family and friends, not just as children but all thru our lives? Isn't that what our God does for us not once but many many times throughout our lives: sits patiently with us until we stretch out our arms to accept Him?

Prayer requests:
As I write this post I ask everyone who reads this to please pray for us on January 9 as you head to bed, because that will be the morning of January 10 for us and "Gotcha Day". The power of prayer, right? Also prayers for right now: We don't know how Natalie is doing-the orphanage has chosen to be silent until the day of adoption-we are as worried as any parents who do not know what is going on in their child's life. Just as you would pray for the health of an unborn child, so too Natalie needs our prayers for her health, as do all the children of the families traveling with us to China.

TA

We are waiting for our travel approval, it's November 30, 2010. If all goes according to schedule we should hear something next week. The month of November has never been so slow. Brad and I just want to get to China and get Natalie home! Everyone here, family and friends are so excited-they are just as impatient as we are. Liz

You grew in my heart for so very long...

I cannot pinpoint the age I was when I felt the spirit of adoption in my heart-I have always known that I wanted to be a mother to a child who did not have one, and God placed on my heart long before I met my husband that I was to adopt a child from China.

Brad and I met when I was 20 and the Lord has blessed us with 19 years of a wonderful and happy marriage. For the last 7 years I have been wanting to begin the adoption process, but every time the Lord blocked our path with something-job losses, remodeling house, etc. Even my parents had given up on us ever having children (I never desired a biological child-although I gave Brad that option and he said no). You see, when most women were gushing over babies and pregnancy I was uncomfortable around that. I would get depressed when I saw a family with an Asian child because that was what I longed for! I never could explain it and I never told others because I knew they would think me “strange”. Even now, people “assume” Brad and I could not “conceive” and that is why we chose adoption-and that is not the case! When Brad and I finally got to the point we were financially able to begin the adoption process, China had not only changed the rules but the wait time was getting longer and longer, and my husband was not ready. It took lots and lots of praying (and crying), for him to come to the decision this was God’s plan for us.

Since we began the process last September everything has moved along very smoothly and even the timing of when Natalie’s referral came along boggles my mind, and God has just opened up door after door, very quickly, for us to be a family.

How you came to be our daughter...

Natalie came to us unexpectedly. God had prepared us but we weren't to understand that until after we saw your face.

Our LID was the 7^th of June. July’s referrals came and we got no call, I slipped further into a depression. August referrals came and still nothing. The end of August I went to Women of Faith conference in DC (have been going every year for over 10 years!). Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman were guest speakers. At the same time as they were to speak, I sat next to a woman and she started a conversation-how it got onto adoption I do not know, but anyway, she offered to pray for me and she said a wonderful prayer for my husband and I-asking God to send our child to us soon.

The Monday after the conference we received an email from AWAA highlighting several girls of all ages with heart conditions. The referral picture above in the green pants is the one that caught my eye and I called and asked if we could look at her file without locking it in. They said, yes we could do that but at anytime anywhere in the world someone else could lock it and then we would lose her. We gave everything to God and said if she’s our child then she will still be there. So, under no time constraints, we took our time consulting pediatricians and heart specialists. EVERY doctor we contacted got back to us immediately, and all felt very good with what they saw! I couldn’t believe how quickly things were moving and how kind everyone was. By Wednesday we had decided to lock her file. By Thursday we had all the paperwork filled out and sent to AWAA, and then Melissa called to tell us that China had done her surgery in July and that she had just gotten home from the hospital and the orphanage sent up- dated photos--that photo is the one featured in this blog header--the one with the pink pants.

That is how Natalie came to us. I always envisioned God’s hand in the referral through someone choosing for us from AWAA, but that was not how it happened-and to this day there is something special about the fact that I chose her, that God directed me to make the choice and not AWAA. Funny how God's plans are NOT our plans. But I still believe that all the prayers that went up for me that weekend at Women of Faith from so many women made all the difference.

Natalie Rose right now is Chang, Shun Feng. Chang is for the orphanage (The children’s Welfare Institute of Changzhou City). Shun is the middle name of all children admitted in 2009, and Feng is a common name in chinese/ the female version means phoenix. We named her Natalie (first because it was the one name we both agreed on), but because she will be adopted around Christmas (a re-birth so to speak). Yes, we are suppose to be traveling the end of December. We are waiting on our TA, which should arrive the beginning of December. AWAA is hoping we can join a group that will be traveling either December 16, 23, or 30. I am praying for the 23^rd.