It has been documented that "children as young as infants retain memories of very early events in their lives, and children of any age can show the symptoms of posttraumatic stress years later". Our Natalie was abandoned at 6 months of age, and we have to surmise that up until that time she was with her biological parents. If that's true, she would have become comfortably familiar with and securely attached to her first family. Her abandonment was a terribly traumatic experience. I recently read in the recommended book, 'Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child' that "scars from trauma often emerge in the form of an intense emotional upset...Anniversary reactions are emotional and physiological upsets that commemorate a painful event."
The last half of August, Natalie seemed to take a step backward. She became very clingy, fearful when I wasn't in the same room, refusing to go to sleep without me holding her and waking at night- always around 2am-very upset. On September 8 the Lanchester Chorus (of which I am a member) had a concert at Willow Valley Manor Retirement Community. Because Natalie was so fearful of being away from me, we decided that Brad would bring her along to the concert. We thought if she could see me while we sang that she would be ok. But as soon as we arrived I knew she would not be happy sitting on Brad's lap and watching Mama. We came prepared with books, and Brad took her for a walk and tried reading to her. The concert took nearly one hour and Brad never returned to the room with Natalie. I immediately went looking for them when the concert ended and from a distance I could hear her yelling "Mama, Mama". I found them sitting in a corner down one of the hallways. As soon as she spotted me she started screaming and crying "Mama". I had NEVER heard such desperation and utter terror in her voice before. I was so scared by her terror that I dropped everything and ran to her-I started crying myself. It didn't take long to calm her down, but she refused to let go of me the rest of the evening. What caused the terror she felt? Had I read this book before that night I might have understood. Natalie had been abandoned on September 4 2009.
The prevailing opinion among society is there is no way a 6 month old child can remember a trauma 2 years later. But, I know SHE DID! "How a person's mind and body keep track of anniversaries of trauma on a weekly or yearly schedule is not completely understood...But anniversary reactions are an accepted phenomenon among clinicians and researchers who study trauma..." As we have been moving away from that date, she has become more peaceful and less fearful. Brad and I are left with so many unanswered questions, so we must do or own detective work to come up with a theory on the event of her abandonment.
