Natalie has been home with us for 1 1/2 years-the same amount of time she spent in the orphanage. She now has as many memories of her new life as her old. She has made unprecedented progress in such a short time. Often, older children coming out of orphanages are behind developmentally for years. Natalie is now at least in the 50th percentile or higher, physically and intellectually, and we have seen great strides in her emotional development. She is truly an amazing individual. In only 5 months she went from putting three words together, most times unrecognizable, to speaking in complete understandable sentences-in English (her second language). She has definitively developed her own personality. She is sensitive and intuitive: one morning last week I was not feeling well. I was sitting there on the edge of the bed and she crawled in the bed, came up behind me, put her arms around me, and said "Don't worry Mama, I take care of you" and gave me a big hug. She is persistent and determined: we were at the park, and there were lots of other children there that day. Natalie wanted to play on an apparatus that was occupied by two boys, about ages 4 and 6. When she tried to join them they would yell, "get off" and throw mean looks her direction. She would proceed to get off, analyze the situation, and get right back on. At one point the older boy pushed her away, in hopes that she would get his point. She came right back. The grandfather of the boys warned me to keep an eye on the older one because he could be a little rough. I looked at Natalie and responded, "I think my daughter can hold her own." It wasn't long before the three of them (the boys and Natalie) were playing together and having great fun. (She seems to be "gravitating" towards boys-older boys-oh my, look out!) She is observant and cautiously curious. And she can be serious and silly. She's just BEAUTIFUL!
One of the very thoughtful gifts I received at the "toddler shower" (last year-after arriving home from China) was a picture frame with "Gotcha Day" and the date inscribed on it. For Brad and I that day was both an anxious, exhilarating, happy, and heart breaking day. But for Natalie it was sad, confusing and terrifying. Not one picture from that day shows a "happily ever after" family. For months the frame remained empty-void of a picture. Then a good friend told me that she had a framed picture of their adopted daughter from her Gotcha Day and every time she looks at it, it is a reminder of the trauma her daughter endured. So I put Natalie's sad picture in that frame. The other day Natalie came into our room. She said, "I want to show you something Mama." I asked her what it was. She immediately walked over to that picture, picked it up and said, "this is me. I was very sad, I did not know my Mama and my Dada." She is very perceptive. The past couple weeks she has become very interested in "her" story and "her" pictures, and can recite her adoption story as only a three year old can.
Last year she was desperately attached to me-out of fear of being abandoned yet again- but she feared intimacy, physically and emotionally rejecting the love we showered upon her. She treated me like a "caretaker" and Brad like a monster to be feared. In the orphanage, she learned that the only way to get attention was to smile and put on a show for others. In public, everyone thought she was cute, adorable and 'oh so normal'. But, at home, she literally pushed us away, just to see if we would really love her and not leave her- with sleepless nights from night terrors, nightmares and regressive emotions. Each time I became discouraged, I looked at that "Gotcha Day" photo as my reminder to remain patient and understanding of the trauma she has endured. Today she is an overly energetic preschooler who loves hugs and kisses (and to be tickled) from Mama and Dada. She lives for our undivided attention, and doesn't cling to me out of fear, so much anymore. Everynight she says "I love you, I'm not going to leave you."
After a year of quiet and limited stimulation, Brad and I have been having great fun watching Natalie experience new things, like Hershey Park.
Now that she understands the language, she loved Easter, and we got her first Easter basket! (Can you tell she loves the Pooh characters?)
She is no longer afraid of water. She got into the creek and pool for the first time this year, and we are having a hard time keeping her out of water-she has to play in the kitchen sink when I wash dishes, she stomps in puddles and loves being sprayed with the hose. We are headed to the beach in a couple of weeks, and now that she is no longer afraid of sand, we are looking forward to watching her play in God's giant sand box!
Now my silly girl is ready for preschool this September. She loves to play with other children. Each new child she meets instantly become her "new best friends". (Oh my, the innocence of children-why does it become so complicated as we get older?)
