Getting to know our 2 year old

It's late....I can't sleep. I don't know why. Some nights I lie awake waiting for Natalie to wake from bad dreams so that I can be there for her. We've been so "glued" together for 9 months that I hate being away from her for any length of time. As I watched Natalie sleep in my arms the other night, I thought about my life without her, and I felt such pain, sorrow and fear. It was strange. I knew then that I can NEVER lose my little girl! Oh the pain her Chinese parents must still be feeling!

We are having so much fun watching her discover her new world and learn the language. Right now she names things. For example, when we walk through the yard she will point and say what she sees, like "walnut", "tree", "car", etc. She only says one word at a time-she has not progressed into phrases, yet. She does, what I call, the "happy dance" when Dada comes home from work. We started her in gymnastics (toddler/parent class) for balance and coordination, and now she "jumps" wherever she goes. Amazingly, she loves the balance beam! She loves "Pooh" and looks at me, so seriously, and names all the Winnie the Pooh characters. She'll walk around the house counting to eleven (I'm having a hard time getting her to get out "twelve"). She has a buddy-Linus, one of our male cats. He is so patient with and kind to her. He goes wherever she goes-it's so cute!

She is the most well behaved and patient 2 year old I have ever met! She has more patience than I do! I am feeling really good about our attachment/bonding-although I know it is an ongoing process. Now that we are over a month away from the traumatic anniversary date of her abandonment, she is sleeping through the nights and is OK with me leaving the house for short periods of time. Life seems almost normal. Now we will start to think about her very first Christmas-and I am starting to get excited!

The power of the human memory

It has been documented that "children as young as infants retain memories of very early events in their lives, and children of any age can show the symptoms of posttraumatic stress years later". Our Natalie was abandoned at 6 months of age, and we have to surmise that up until that time she was with her biological parents. If that's true, she would have become comfortably familiar with and securely attached to her first family. Her abandonment was a terribly traumatic experience. I recently read in the recommended book, 'Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child' that "scars from trauma often emerge in the form of an intense emotional upset...Anniversary reactions are emotional and physiological upsets that commemorate a painful event."

The last half of August, Natalie seemed to take a step backward. She became very clingy, fearful when I wasn't in the same room, refusing to go to sleep without me holding her and waking at night- always around 2am-very upset. On September 8 the Lanchester Chorus (of which I am a member) had a concert at Willow Valley Manor Retirement Community. Because Natalie was so fearful of being away from me, we decided that Brad would bring her along to the concert. We thought if she could see me while we sang that she would be ok. But as soon as we arrived I knew she would not be happy sitting on Brad's lap and watching Mama. We came prepared with books, and Brad took her for a walk and tried reading to her. The concert took nearly one hour and Brad never returned to the room with Natalie. I immediately went looking for them when the concert ended and from a distance I could hear her yelling "Mama, Mama". I found them sitting in a corner down one of the hallways. As soon as she spotted me she started screaming and crying "Mama". I had NEVER heard such desperation and utter terror in her voice before. I was so scared by her terror that I dropped everything and ran to her-I started crying myself. It didn't take long to calm her down, but she refused to let go of me the rest of the evening. What caused the terror she felt? Had I read this book before that night I might have understood. Natalie had been abandoned on September 4 2009.

The prevailing opinion among society is there is no way a 6 month old child can remember a trauma 2 years later. But, I know SHE DID! "How a person's mind and body keep track of anniversaries of trauma on a weekly or yearly schedule is not completely understood...But anniversary reactions are an accepted phenomenon among clinicians and researchers who study trauma..." As we have been moving away from that date, she has become more peaceful and less fearful. Brad and I are left with so many unanswered questions, so we must do or own detective work to come up with a theory on the event of her abandonment.

It's been a difficult spring/summer

This child…..this 'stranger'…...this little person that we brought into our lives only 7 months ago is so precious and truly, truly an amazing miracle. Adoption is HARD…..adoption of an older child is even HARDER. There are no books-no social workers-no internet sites or blogs, that can prepare you for the pain and heartache of letting a walking, talking, sensitive, independent, and stubborn little person into your life. How do you get thru to a child that has not known you since birth….how do you bond with someone who only knows abandonment and heartache?

The past few months have been difficult ones. On the surface (in public) everything looked perfect. Brad and Liz have the "cutest" little girl. She smiles and waves to everyone she sees. She wants to hold hands with everyone she greets. How cute is that? In reality, she would have walked away with a complete stranger and in fact she almost did. If that doesn't stop a mother's heart, I can tell you what will: One night I heard a loud persistent banging coming from Natalie's room. When I entered she was laying on her stomach, lifting her entire upper body up off the mattress and throwing herself down on her face. When I picked up her up and placed her unto her back, I found that she was very much awake! She looked at me with NO recognition in her eyes. I immediately knew that she did not know who I was, so I began to talk to her, and she proceeded to shrink away from me and curl up in the corner of her bed in fear.

That night was a huge wake up call! But it wasn't just night time where we were having problems….things only I knew were not right. Everyone continued to tell me that "she's just a typical 2 year old", but my heart and my head was telling me that there were underlying behaviors that were NOT normal 2 year old characteristics. I was afraid to take her out into public-mainly because total strangers wanted to touch her wherever we went. People I knew, but were complete strangers to her wanted to hold her! I became VERY uncomfortable and fearful. There was an alarm going off in my head that said something was not right with our relationship. We had her tested for SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), and thank goodness all those tests came back normal. It was recommended that we find an OT qualified in attachment/bonding with adopted institutionalized/abandoned children. We were also "warned" that in this area, there are so few qualified therapists that the waiting list is at least 6 months. After doing my own research, I discovered the waiting list to be 6 mo. to 1 yr. We were cautioned by other OT's and adoptive parents to be sure that the therapist we see is definitely qualified in attachment disorders with institutionalized children because these kids are treated completely different than a biological child with attachment disorders. So, after feeling completely defeated and discouraged, I put us on the waiting list and asked other adoptive mothers for help.

Natalie's head banging at night was getting exceedingly worse. We were also having a harder time getting her to sleep at night-she fights sleep as hard as she can. There were nights I was up with her till 1:00am. And to make matters worse, she refused to be held…she would scream, cry, kick and push me away when I tried to comfort her or hold her. We were told about "holding therapy", where you hold the child against their will as tightly as possible and let them kick and scream until they just give in and go limp. Things were getting so bad and I was so upset because Natalie was pulling away from me and shutting down emotionally, we decided to try that form of therapy without seeing a therapist first. The first night I tried holding her, she became so hysterical that I began to cry. Natalie is so strong! She kicked and squirmed and hit....you should have seen the bruises on my arms! She went on like this so long and so violently we were afraid of doing harm to her heart so we stopped. But I was becoming so desperate that I decided to continue holding her at night-but limited the amount of time and only tried it a few nights a week.

About three weeks ago we turned a corner. After 10 minutes of her fighting I released my hold and instead of her getting off my lap, she put her arms around me and held me tight. After a few more rounds of this we were finally able to calm her down and she finally looked me in the eyes. I looked her directly in the eyes and told her over and over again that we would never leave her and we will always be here when she woke up and that is was safe for her to fall sleep. She fell asleep in my arms for the very first time!!!! I was elated but cautious. The next night Natalie actually WANTED to be on my lap. The first half hour she seemed 'uncomfortable', but then she settled down, looked up at me, held my face, and fell asleep in my arms again!! Most every night since, she has fallen asleep on my lap in the rocking chair. Ever since this change, Natalie has nearly stopped banging her head and sleeping very soundly thru the night.

I have noticed other changes....If she wakes before I get out of bed, she will climb into bed and snuggle up to me and want to be held. She loves to give us hugs and kisses. She will now sit on her Dada's lap and let him read to her. I FINALLY feel a deeper connection to her, and that has made our relationship better. I am also more comfortable with being at home and being her "mama", and I am finding that I have more patience and she is responding better to me as well. I am not quite as "fearful" out in public as I use to be-however, we still do not let strangers touch her or hold her. I want her to learn that not everyone is "as trustworthy as mama and dada" and a simple wave and hello is enough.

I was looking at my daughter's peaceful sleeping face last evening as I was rocking her and I was thinking about all the things she has been thru in her short life and I became overwhelmed. We have been "guessing" the details of Natalie's abandonment-putting together pieces of what may have happened by her behaviors. For example, she hates going to sleep and will do whatever she can to stay awake. Was she abandoned at night? This would make sense, since she was left at the gate of the orphanage-had they left her during the day they may have gotten caught, but at night????? Was she awake or asleep when they said goodbye? Is she afraid to fall asleep because she fears we will not be there when she wakes? Last night Natalie was banging her head. When I went into her room, she started to cry and fuss. Each time I thought I got her back to sleep, laid her down on the bed, then pulled away, she would begin to cry hysterically and grab for me. She was so afraid and sad-my heart just cried out. So I slept in bed with her. (This we have been needing to do more often.) She had to be touching me the whole night.

When I think about what she has been thru in 2 short years, I am amazed she has allowed me into her life only 8 months into our relationship. As I watched her sleep I felt overwhelming gratitude to her biological parents. They blessed Brad and I with their child and I found myself longing to tell them how grateful I am, and so very sad to know I will never be able to thank them or to let them know just how healthy and happy their daughter is with us. And now that I am a parent, I felt an overwhelming sadness and pity for them because they will never know her. Isn't it miraculous? We are so connected now, I cannot imagine life without her. Every time she looks up at me and says "mama" my heart jumps. Last night for the first time, she reached out to me and said "mama" in her sleep. This morning she woke up and recognized me instantly and said "mama".

I am so excited to watch her grow up into a young woman, and yet I want to keep her at this needy and innocent place she is right now.
It's hard to fathom everything that our little girl has been thru and still must to go thru, both physically and emotionally. But I know now that she will OK-WE WILL BE OK! ALL PRAISE AND GLORY TO GOD!!!!

Update on Natalie

Just a quick update on our Natalie. She is doing fantastic! She is the happiest little girl I have ever met! It took all of us about 4 weeks after returning home to get back to the normal swing of things, get over being sick (from our trip) and get Natalie into a routine. She sleeps an average of 10-11 hours a night and takes at least an hour nap-I was told that they are not use to all the stimulation so thus the long hours of sleep. Hey, I'm not complaining. After having a few weeks of interrupted sleep, I am enjoying the sleep! The only ongoing issue we have with her is eating habits. She refuses to eat fruits and vegetables, other than bananas. However, she will drink 8oz or more a day of the V-8 Fusion, so we know she is getting her needs there. She seems to "analyze" everything (including her food-each and every bit-which makes "hiding" veggies difficult.) She is extremely smart and learning at an extremely rapid pace! She talks (mostly baby talk) from the time she gets up in the morning until she goes to bed at night, and she has the most infectious smile which sucks everyone in! I have complete strangers stop us wherever we go to say how cute she is. Once she makes up her mind to do something, that's it-it's done. Like, remember how she screamed bloody murder whenever Brad tried to hold her? One day she just decided that he was ok, and now he can do anything with her-like they have known each other forever. She did the same thing with the bottle/sippy cup. She adamantly refused to take the sippy cup-then one day out of the clear blue, she started drinking from it and from that moment on refused the bottle. I suspect that out of the clear blue one day she will be spitting out complete sentences in English. I am hoping and praying she does the same thing for food!

All her blood tests came back negative/normal, and the pediatric cardiologist said the surgery that was done on her heart in china looked good. She does have severe pulmonary valve regurgitation and a slight enlargement of the heart. But the doctors feel she is doing so well, that right now they only want to see her every 6 months. If things remain OK, she should not need the valve replacement surgery until she is at least 10 years of age. Praise God for all the blessings we have been given thus far!

Natalie has now been with us for 2 months and I feel like we have had her since birth. Each day is just an amazing adventure. She is constantly making Brad and I laugh. I am trying to get back to choir on Wednesday nights, but I find I would rather be with her, and she does not like me leaving for very long (about ½ hour is her limit).

God bless everyone!

Brad & Elizabeth Herr

HOME

We are home at last! We arrived safely home at 8pm Saturday the 22nd (1 hour BEFORE we would have boarded a plane for BWI). We are so grateful to my parents who made the trip to Newark, NJ to pick us up at that airport. The flight home was not a good one-15 long hours. Natalie did as well as could be expected, but she slept for only 2 hours of those 15. The remainder of the time she fought sleep with every minute that passed. I told Brad by the time we got over Canada-10 hours into our flight-I felt like a punching bag. She never really cried for long, but she squirmed, kicked, punched, banged her head and literally would not sit still or sleep. She didn't want to be held, but she only wanted me at the same time. It was completely frustrating-and their wasn't a darn thing we could do. I have had a very bad head cold-and breathing was not easy on the plane-and the altitude made everything move to my chest. By the time we got off the plane, I had very little voice and was dehydrated. BUT, by God's grace we survived, and are finally feeling a little better.

Getting Natalie into a routine has been my priority since arriving home. I figure the sooner we are able to show her that each day is the same-the more secure she will feel. (After all, she was on a very regimented schedule at the orphanage, then her world was turned upside down in one day-and she has had NO consistency since then.) However, that is easier said than done with family stopping in and doctor appointments to keep. I thought when we arrived home we would just hunker down and hide in the house for about a month. But I am finding out real quick that I miss getting out of the house, and seeing people. I forgot about how much MY life would change with suddenly having no job to get up to go to each day-ontop of motherhood to a Velcro baby. I suddenly miss "peeing" in peace!

God has been gracious, but I sometimes wonder if the saying "He never gives you more than you can handle" was made up by some delusional human being. We arrived home Saturday night-sick and tired-and Sunday afternoon my husband was rushing one of our cats to the PET Emergency with urinary tract infection. Then yesterday we got a snowstorm and Natalie had a very important pediatrician appointment. But we too survived that. It stopped snowing before we had to leave-we had no problems with the roads-were able to get a few things at Babies R Us, and get home right before round two of the snow hit! We had 9 inches when we woke up this morning.

Natalie was a real trooper at the doctors. They all loved her to death. The pediatrician was pleased with her overall health, but because she had heart surgery in China, she has had NO vaccinations. So round one was yesterday. She got 4 shots, and blood work drawn. I can't believe her resiliency. She cried during the procedures, but had a smile on her face right after it was over. They even had a hard time finding her vein to draw blood-but after it was over, she still had a smile for the nurses and a bye-bye. WOW! Unfortunately, she will have to have more blood drawn tomorrow because she doesn't weigh enough to have taken it all at one time-not looking forward to that.

We introduced her to snow today. She didn't like it, but I know that will all change eventually. We have been blessed with family and friends from OES who have been supplying us with great meals-except for breakfast I haven't had to make a thing-that has been wonderful!!! We would like to try and get to church this Sunday-the Pastor is having a red rose service for Natalie. Otherwise, we will be staying at home.

Again, thank you to everyone for their words of encouragment while we were in China. This blog will not end here-this is an ongoing thing, however, I will eventually make it private.

Our last two days in Guangzhou

Well, we thought this week was never going to end and now we are 24 hours away from leaving Guangzhou and heading to Hong Kong for our flight home on Saturday. The last two days with Natalie have been better. She is better-emotionally. She has been eating very well, and pretty much sleeping through the night.

Yesterday we had to stay in our hotel in case our guide had any questions from the US Consulate, as they took our paperwork to the Consulate for approval to enter the US with a foreign child. The nice thing about the Hague Convention for Adoption is, she will be a US Citizen as soon as she enters US soil. In the afternoon we all boarded a bus and went to the consulate for the swearing-in ceremony. It was a very short oath we took on behalf of our children. We had to raise our right hand as we repeated after the US Official. I wish someone could have taken a picture, because Natalie raised her right hand right along with us! It was the funniest thing! In the evening the majority of the families got together for one last Chinese meal together. I will truly miss them all.

Each evening, after returning from dinner, we have allowed Natalie to run around the very big hotel entrance to run off some energy before bed and to help her get better balance. Throughout the week we have discovered that she was very spoiled by her Nanny. She never fed herself, never walked very much, and got whatever she wanted. In the last week she is now feeding herself (by fingers), and even tried holding a spoon (we need to work on that), and her balance has improved significantly. She is feeling more secure-as she will not hold my hand and will walk quite a distance away from me. Brad and I will let her go away from me and then I would slip around a corner, as he walked beside her. She always made her way back to me, on her own, but never got upset. It has been a few minutes of freedom for me as I let Brad run after her-and she's not clinging to me like Velcro. In the hotel Lobby is a display with red rabbits. This Chinese New Year is the Year of the Rabbit. She LOVES these rabbits-and we have been trying to find one for her, but with no luck. (Thus one of the pictures here.)

Today was our last day with most of the families. We went to Yuexiu Park in the morning. This park is one of the oldest and the largest in Guangzhou. It features the Five Ram Sculpture, which has become the identity of the City. There is an ancient myth that thousands of years ago the people that lived here were very poor and starving to death. They prayed to the God of the Heavens to save them and he sent down 5 Ewe and 5 Ram. With these animals they could make milk and plow fields thus saving the peoples lives. We took a picture of the sculpture. I also included a picture of our National Guide, Maggie, (the one on the left), who met us in Beijing and has been here in Guangzhou with us all week. (Her helper, Becky, is on the right.)

The other night after putting Natalie down, I laid down to watch a movie called "Something the Lord Made". I had never heard of this movie before, but here is a bit of irony for you. The movie is about Dr. Alfred Blalock and his Lab assistant Vivian Thomas, of John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. It was these two men, during WWII, who discovered how to save the "blue baby". They were the first to attempt to repair the heart defect, Tetralogy of Fallow. Natalie's heart defect! Had it not been for these two men, babies born with this particular heart defect would not live to adulthood-mortality rate was 100%. I found it ironic that we would see a movie about our child's heart condition, in China! See it!

Well, this will be my last blog entry until we get home and settled. Thank you to everyone who has followed our journey and prayed for us. Your prayers got us thru some very rough days! We can't wait to get home and see everyone and EAT lots and lots of homemade Dutch Food!!!!!!!!!!!

Pictures of the Family

The Last blog entree I had a hard time loading so many pictures, so I am posting these updated photos seperately.

More Gardens

The weather here the last two days have been warm and sunny. Yesterday we thought it reached 60 degrees and today at least 65. But they are calling for the weather to change here by Thursday - cold and rainy. Yesterday was not good for Natalie. She was awake several times during the night, and refused to eat or drink most of the day. Needless to say I am exhausted. We were taken to Shamian Island, which was settled by the British. The layout of the streets and the buildings are very European. It reminds me of Savannah, Georgia, with all the willow trees and hanging vines. Here they have shoppes that cater to tourists, especially those adopting Chinese children (the consulate is close by.) We bought several traditional items as gifts for Natalie. We will spread these out and give her one each birthday until we run out. We also purchased a traditional dress for her-with the Phoenix on it because that is the meaning of her Chinese name-Feng. The Phoenix means beautiful and good luck. For the longest time I couldn't decide whether to have her baptized in a traditional christian dress or a traditional Chinese dress-she will definitely be baptized in her Chinese dress.

It is interesting all the different opinions we receive by Chinese women. Our guide in Nanjing thought Natalie was older than the age the doctor from the orphanage documented. She also thought she was going to be very tall because she has long fingers. Yesterday a Chinese woman thought she was small for her age. But all find her "very cute". Today three Chinese girls wanted to take our picture with them. We don't know who they were-it was quite humorous. Natalie definitely loves the outdoors-it is where she is the happiest-but I can understand that-she probably was never out of doors before. She seems to be fascinated with plants. We figure she should be a botanist or horticulturalist. We will definitely be sending her with my Uncle Glenn and her cousins Arlie and Ahna, when he takes his nature walks.

The first set of pictures are from our time shopping on the Island. The second set of pictures are from our tour this morning at Yuntai Gardens. This place was very much like Longwood Gardens. It is a man made Garden found at the foot of the White Cloud Mountain. It has many species of flowers and south east Asian plants-also a greenhouse. Today, (up until this moment when we tried to put Natalie down for a nap) she has had a very good day. She slept thru most of the night, and she ate a big breakfast. She continues to have a cold and bad cough. I will be glad to get her home and to the pediatrician next Wednesday-although that too should be a battle ground. She is a very strong little girl and if she does not want to do something, she puts up one huge fight.

We are now counting down! Four more days until we are home!!!! We miss the cats and familiar food. We did find a nice Italian restaurant down the street. And you don't know just how "delicious" Ritz crackers and Chips Ahoy cookies are until you find them in China!

Second Day in Guangzhou

OH MY....Do we ever treasure being outside in the sunshine! We are so sick and tired of hotel rooms!!!! The hotel we are currently in is about 50 stories high. We are on the 32nd floor-more feelings of claustrophobia!! I will try to get a picture from the breakfast room which is on the very top floor. The view is awesome-but I do not like being so far away from the ground. Maybe it's just because I am American, but I have these flashes of 9/11 and the World Trade Center Towers. You know, I never use to have this fear of heights-am I getting old or what?

This morning we enjoyed a tour thru the Chen Family Temple. It was an academy for students, and now is a museum of beautiful artworks of ceramics, paintings, ivory and bone carvings, and more. There were many chinese student artists drawing all over the gardens and we purchased several artwork pieces for Natalie. Our guide told us that the younger generation no longer wishes to continue some of the beautiful artwork-such as the ivory carvings-because it takes 8-10 years to complete one unique piece "they have no patience". There were small ivory carvings for purchase, but we were not aloud to purchase them-because they cannot leave the country.

The pictures I am posting are all of the temple and stone and wood carvings. There is one picture, we were "honored" to get-a girl named Sarah, the first adopted child of one of the family's here, honored us with a picture. She has been an enjoyable blessing to us and the other families. Like Natalie, she was adopted at the age of two, and her mother said that she too clung to her like "Velco" for weeks and would have nothing to do with her father. I asked if that will change and she said "Oh Yes!" Our Natalie had a good morning. She enjoyed walking around the gardens and I tried desperately to get a picture, but all I could get was blurr-she can really move; Brad and I are calling it the chinese two-step.

Thank you everyone for the encouraging emails! They have been a real blessing. I continue to feel poorly-but it is just something that will have to run it's course. The irony is-I am NEVER sick, and now twice in one week! I feel like I am missing out of so much of China. Our little one has worn herself out and is currently taking a nap-therefore I wanted to take advantage of the peace to update the blog. This afternoon we go to our guide's room for more paperwork preparation for the US Consulate appointment on Wednesday morning. On Wednesday afternoon our guide told us we would "go to the consulate to swear". Brad found that extremely humorous. He said that if there was a picture of Obama in the room he just might "swear". (I apologize to any democrats who may read this part of the blog!) The guide, of course, meant we would be going for the swearing in ceremony for our children. All formalities-ain't politics great!

On To Guangzhou

Our time in Nanjing has ended. Yesterday afternoon we took a two hour flight from Nanjing to Gaungzhou. While here we will take care of getting Natalie's USA Visa. We do apologize to everyone, who has been following the blog, for our silence. I found it very difficult to update things with a very active 22 month old who only wants Mama. I cannot get anything done. She will not allow anyone else to carry her, and she wants to be held all the time. She is fighting sleep at naptime and night time, and she does not let me work on the computer-therefore the long silences.

I was just beginning to feel somewhat familiar with my surroundings in Nanjing, and then we had to leave. We are now in another HUGE city. Guangzhou is suppose to be "subtropical" but today it is very cold and windy (although compared to Beijing its warm). We got to do alittle sightseeing in Nanjing. Our guide, Susan, took us to two very beautiful gardens. We could only imagine just how absolutely gorgeous they must be in the springtime. That was one of the things we loved about China-their gardens. They are done to absolute perfection-or as the chinese would say-absolute balance. Most of the pictures here are of the Gardens in Nanjing and of the old part of Nanjing.

We had an oppornity to visit Changzhou and Natalie's orphanage, but declined due to Brad's ill health and our complete lack of sleep. We were told that we would be unable to take any pictures, and that would have been our main reason for going. We decided that, should she decide one day that she would like to visit the city and orphanage from where she came from, we would return. We were given the email address of the orphanage director and were asked to please send frequent emails and pictures, as they would like to hear how she is doing.

Natalie has been a wonderful child to have around. She has her moments-like not eating certain foods we were told she ate. Also, the need she has for only me is a bit over whelming and hard on my back, but I just continue to count down the days for when we will be home and she can begin a "normal" and "consistent" daily routine. And hoepfully she will learn that I am always here-although I do not always need to hold her. For the most part she is a patient and happy child-smiling ALOT. Our guide says "she talks alot and is smart too."

Keep the prayers coming for all of us. Homesickness has set in for me and I just want to leave! I am not feeling well again, so it's a good thing Brad feels ok right now. We anticipate a smooth plane ride home because she did so well on the short ride yesterday-although the car ride home could be really stressful. The Chinese do not use car seats, let alone seatbelts-so a restraining car seat and not being on mama's lap could prove interesting.

Adoption Day

IT'S OFFICIAL...BRAD AND I ARE PARENTS!

Today we filled out the remaining paperwork and signed the adoption papers. Today I cried when the Provincial Officer asked why we wanted to adopt a child from China. How do you explain something like that? The desire runs so deep that it can only be a divine dream. We immediately thought of my Grandfather (Henry Rohrer)and his favorite Aunt, who was a missionary in China during the 1920's. Before we left for China I visited him and he asked me the very same question as the chinese officer. I told him that, perhaps with Mary's help, God put that desire on my heart, and then I was blessed to marry a man willing to fullfill that dream.

Today, Natalie smiled, alot-I hope the video comes thru OK. But today was a very difficult day for her as well. She got to see her Nanny one more time and she did not want to leave. We were scared of this, but also glad her Nanny was able to say goodbye-it was hard for both of them. She has had many smiles today, but also many tears. We also made some progress. She got to meet her Nana and Yaya (my parents) thru Skype and she was starting to talk with them and waved good-bye. Then we got a call from Aunt Caroline and she got to meet her-and Natalie was just talking up a storm. Her first English word-"Nighty-Nighty".

Tonight we had our first meal-out. She was fascinated with the other children. She liked Brad's waffle fries, but was not thrilled with pizza. But she's still learning to chew. She has all her teeth-but she hasn't been fed anything that requires her to chew. She loved all the lights. The hotel we are staying at is at the heart of the old section of Nanjing. It is located next to a modern shopping plaza and mall, and around the corner is a buddist temple. It was nice to get out of our room and get some fresh air, even though Brad is not feeling much better. We all had a wonderful nap this afternnoon, and are hoping for a wonderful night sleep.

Keep all the emails coming-they are really helping Brad who is VERY homesick right now. We will both be glad to get back with the other families in Guangzhou on Saturday, although on the news tonight they said Hong Kong was having unseasonably cold temperatures. We were looking forward to the 70's!

She's Here!

Hello Family!

We are back in our hotel.  Natalie has been with us for 4 hours now and everything is going very well.  She cried herself to sleep in her Nanny's arms while we talked with her and a representative from the orphanage.  We were then able to take her to the hotel, Brad carried her.  When she woke up, she, of course, began to cry because she did not know us, but she quieted down quickly.  When Brad tried to put her in the bed she immediately reached up for me, and that made me feel good.  She then proceeded to "size" us up and down for a good two hours.  Those are the pictures of her in the bed.  We then stood her up.  She just stood there for the longest time staring at us, then began to dance in place to Chinese music on the TV.  I mixed up her formula and she drank most of the bottle.  we then decided to go for a walk-she about walked my feet off!  But as soon as she was tired, she reached up to me to be picked up.

She is doing very well.  Tomorrow we go back to the provincial affairs office for the interview and more papers to sign, and then she will officially be ours!  The Nanny said she is a "very independent and stubborn child", and I can already see that.  She is a hefty little girl.  She is not small!  And she is already catching on to things quickly.  I am working with sign language at the same time using the english word to communicate-just the basics right now like, "eat", "all done", "walk", "drink".  As we do more things we will include bath, diaper, sleep, etc.

My poor husband now has whatever I had on Saturday-sick as a dog!  I hope we do not pass it on to natalie.

I would write more, but Brad is now asleep, which he needs, and natalie is wide awake, so I will need to get going.

I will leave the computer on for a couple more hours if anyone wishes to skype us. I hope she sleeps well tonight, because we need to leave the hotel at 8:30 tomorrow morning.

Love, Liz

PS:  Babs-brad is not sure if you understood that you can email us!  Infact I think he would very much appreciate hearing from his parents.  It has been a rough couple of lonely days and getting emails from back home has been a tremendous blessing!