The Christmas rush is over. We were blessed to have been able to be home with our families. But my heart and thoughts were in China. There are so many emotions that we are going thru-mainly fear of the unknown. But just as when we started this process 17 months ago, we believe that everything is in God's hands and His timing.
For a long time now I have wished for a dream of Natalie-something to comfort me, and the Lord blessed me with a dream Christmas Eve night. For many weeks now I have not been able to remember my dreams (which is very unusual for me), but this dream is clear as day-even now. My BIGGEST fear is for my poor child. Even as we welcome her into our arms on January 10, I know that it will be the scariest and worst time for her. Her nanny will put her into my arms-but she will not know me or Brad. We will look strange, talk in a strange language, and then whisk her away from everything she has ever known in her small comfortable world. Just thinking about it breaks my heart! I have pondered over and over again on how I will react to her on that day. I have prayed for God to help me discern just how to handle that moment, as to not traumatize her. My dream was His answer. I dreamt of me sitting down in front of Natalie and showing her the toys we will be bringing, and playing with her. As the dream progresses, she looks up at me and stretches her arms out toward me, allowing me to pick her up. Then I woke up. In those few moments after waking I felt at peace. Acceptance: isn't that what we all want and crave from family and friends, not just as children but all thru our lives? Isn't that what our God does for us not once but many many times throughout our lives: sits patiently with us until we stretch out our arms to accept Him?
Prayer requests:
As I write this post I ask everyone who reads this to please pray for us on January 9 as you head to bed, because that will be the morning of January 10 for us and "Gotcha Day". The power of prayer, right? Also prayers for right now: We don't know how Natalie is doing-the orphanage has chosen to be silent until the day of adoption-we are as worried as any parents who do not know what is going on in their child's life. Just as you would pray for the health of an unborn child, so too Natalie needs our prayers for her health, as do all the children of the families traveling with us to China.
1 comment:
Elizabeth--I so know how you feel! And I'm so happy to hear God gave you that comforting dream. God is so good! I too was so concerned about what a trauma it all would be for her and my heart broke into a million pieces when I picked her up to go and she lost it. I too brought toys, and cherrios, and gerber puffs (these are always a huge hit--if I haven't told you before now) to ease her into us. But she was so distraught. And I feared I would not be able sooth her confused and broken heart(I held it together through the entire meeting until I picked her up to go and she was so upset--then I broke into tears with her). After we got on our way she was fine. Obviously, disoriented--and not happy--but not screaming and crying. It's so hard for them--and us. But it's like labor, the trauma of the moment is softened with time and love together. No one knows how this will go. Just be prepared for the worst and you'll be fine. Sounds like you are.
You know i will be praying for you and waiting on every email from you. :)
You're so close..so very close.
Just 5 more sleeps and you're off to meet your daughter! Like you didn't know that righ?
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